The sample hairstyles are in. Not only did the bidding barbers send in portfolios of their previous work, they made some suggestions of how my hair should look on my wedding day. One thing they all seem to have forgotten is that the haircut is for my WEDDING DAY, not WEEDING DAY. I mean, which part of me looks like I smoke blunts?
Anyway, the REBoLs are helping me critique the sample haircuts. Let’s take a look at them right below.
- 4-tier wedding cake
This just looks like a 4-tier wedding cake, so no thanks… We’ll have our wedding cake displayed on an actual cake stand.
2. Zip-head
No, as far as my wedding dressing goes, I prefer to keep the zip on trousers, not put it on my head. Thanks for the offer, though.
3. Hat-head
What, so the barber that submitted this thought because my bride will have a white veil to go with her white dress, I should wear a black hair hat to match my black suit? No sir, certainly no “hats-off” to you!
4. Gridiron
Yeah, I know it’s good, but American Football and Rugby aren’t really my thing. So I’ll pass (the ball on to someone else).
5. Hair-head
Not that I don’t like having hair on my head, but even if for some weird reason I chose to keep as much hair as that, I am certainly not styling it like that. Heck, I won’t be able to hear the minister say “you may kiss your bride.”
6. Groom of Hearts?
Yes I am light-skinned. Yes, I wear specs. Yes, I will wear a white shirt tomorrow. And yes of course, my bride tells me I’m a “heartthrob“… bless her soul! And yes, my last name suggests kingship. But NO, I am not joining a deck of cards as King of Hearts or Groom of Hearts, or whatever it is you call this.
7. Staircase to Lunacy
This is probably a variant of the n-tier cake sampled above, but if I sport this at my wedding, my bride’s family will most likely call it the staircase to lunacy, and they will say I’ve climbed it very quickly. They might even say rode the elevator to lunacy. So no, I’m comfortable with my level of sanity.
8. Modern Urban Youth
Some REBoLs think this urban youth haircut is the best so far because they think the funny gap in my side burns (below) was chiseled there intentionally. Nope! Find the K17.00 and send me to the Copperbelt.
